My Heritage

I was shopping at BJ's the other day, and of course I found myself browsing the books, as I always do. Most of you that read this and know me know that I do have an addiction--to books. The smell, the sounds of pages rustling, the crackling of a brand new book being opened for the first time, the feelings stirred (or not depending on the book lol) upon reading the first few words shared by another human being. As usual, I digress from my orginal writing for today. There is a book I've been wanting, Jewish Literacy, but I'm waiting for my dear husband to buy it for me because I can't rationalize spending it myself. Yes I could get it from the library, but then its not mine to go back to over and over again. Another book caught my eye, "Cooking Jewish: 532 Great Recipes from the Rabinowitz Family". That's my maiden name!!! Of course I had to buy it. Little did I know what was in store for me. As I began reading, I realized this isn't only a cookbook--its an anectdotal Jewish history book starting with the 1800's in Russia to the family's current stories here in the US. Understand prior to reading this, I had no idea that Rabinowitz is a very common Jewish name. Growing up as one of two (I think?) Jewish families in Marlton, I certainly didn't think it was common! (yes, Marlton--way way back yonder...) My Mom's mother died before I was born, her father in 1980, and my Dad's mother 1981, his father 1982. I didn't get to know them as an adult, and its a longing, a yearning, that is so deep there are no words to describe it. Even with Aunt Martha, it wasn't until after she passed away that I realized the lost stories that were hers. As I read this family's story in the cookbook, I am feeling this stirring in my soul, as if I'm connecting with the lost heritage of my own family. I don't mean that in the way of hidden heritage, just lost along the way somehow. (Aunt Reba--a book of the geneology research/stories you've compiled is waiting to be written..........) These stories of marriages, celebrations, hardships, pogrammes, emmigration, extermination, loss, love, survival--they are connecting me back to what I know is there in my own family roots. I am determined to build for my kids strength and joy in their heritage, and humor, too, of course! So far I've made cousin Carole's crusty potato kugel, and read Mama Hinda's (my grandma Helen's Hebrew name also was Hinda, hmmmm...) tips on getting the most height from your Challah (I was reading it and exclaimed out loud "so THATS how you do it!", Dylan came into the kitchen asking what?, I told him, he was like "oooohhhhhh, that's how you do it!", so now my challah won't be tipping over, maybe, anymore). Today I'll make Irene's old fashioned honey cake, and later in the week we'll make Aunt Sally's ultra-extra-special noodle pudding with homemade noodles (my mom has told me that Mom-Mom Fay used to make her own noodles). While cooking and baking, I will tell my kids my own stories; I'll share and share, stories they will roll their eyes to the sky because its the 18 millionth time I've told them, or stories maybe they've never heard before. The stories will become ours, rather than mine, and together, we'll build the next generation.

September 11

In our hearts, on our minds--where the memories of the events of 9/11/2001 should be. Time does heal all wounds, but still, we MUST remember, so that it doesn't happen again. As the time of the morning approaches the point when the first plane struck, all of my being is taken back. My heart rate is quickening, hands are sweating, as if it is all about to happen again. I think of Sondra, who was at my house that morning--neither having any idea initially what was going on, until I finally answered the phone, she her pager, and together in horrow we watched what was happening. She sat frozen on the couch as the Pentagon was hit, knowing her son was there. Thankfully, immediately she received a call that he was okay, and she returned to her job, stunned, numb, thankful, yet terrified. I spent most of the day on the phone with Chonny, as together we decided we had to have our kids with us. (Z and M were home, but D and A were at school). Whatever was going to happen, I wanted us to be together. Chonny and I were back on the phone, fearful of whether or not our husbands would be sent off somewhere, trembling each time we heard a plane fly overhead (before airspace was finally cleared), and wishing like heck the President would leave Florida to make us less a target! Eventually, Rodney and Jim were able to come home, we were the fortunate ones. Never will I forget the feeling in my heart and soul that I felt upon the realization of the amount of people killed. Sitting here, I feel it, I need only close my eyes and see the images of that day, and think of each person that lost his/her life, and pray for them and their families.
Remember, reflect. Remember, remember, remember. Our great country goes on. Flawed? Without a doubt. But still we go on, as the greatest free nation in the world.
A moment of silence for the moment of impact of the 2nd plane. I stood, eyes closed. Images of the day flew through my mind. The sick feeling of realization that this was not an accident, it was some kind of attack. I stood here in my living room, wondering how many people stopped for that moment. I am so grateful to God that I could take the moment, a simple minute out of my day, out of my LIFE that thankfully I have.
I'm struggling for the words to explain to Mall what happened that day, to explain it in a way that doesn't terrify her, yet convey the sadness and seriousness of the day. We've been talking, and it seemed sh was picking up on it and processing it. As a matter of fact, she just asked "can we have pancakes since its a special day?". Ah, leave it to children to bring us right back into the present, and right back into joy. ;)
More later, I'm sure.

A funny list for fellow homeschoolers...

For the full list of 25 things, go to:
http://www.secular-homeschooling.com/index.html
Enjoy!

The Bitter Homeschooler's Wish List
By Deborah Markus, from Secular Homeschooling, Issue #1, Fall 2007
*posted with permission*

1 Please stop asking us if it's legal. If it is — and it is — it's insulting to imply that we're criminals. And if we were criminals, would we admit it?
2 Learn what the words "socialize" and "socialization" mean, and use the one you really mean instead of mixing them up the way you do now. Socializing means hanging out with other people for fun. Socialization means having acquired the skills necessary to do so successfully and pleasantly. If you're talking to me and my kids, that means that we do in fact go outside now and then to visit the other human beings on the planet, and you can safely assume that we've got a decent grasp of both concepts.
3 Quit interrupting my kid at her dance lesson, scout meeting, choir practice, baseball game, art class, field trip, park day, music class, 4H club, or soccer lesson to ask her if as a homeschooler she ever gets to socialize.
4 Don't assume that every homeschooler you meet is homeschooling for the same reasons and in the same way as that one homeschooler you know.
5 If that homeschooler you know is actually someone you saw on TV, either on the news or on a "reality" show, the above goes double.
6 Please stop telling us horror stories about the homeschoolers you know, know of, or think you might know who ruined their lives by homeschooling. You're probably the same little bluebird of happiness whose hobby is running up to pregnant women and inducing premature labor by telling them every ghastly birth story you've ever heard. We all hate you, so please go away.
.
.
.
.
25 Here's a thought: If you can't say something nice about homeschooling, shut up!

Rodney's New Job

Ahhhhhhhh...that's a sigh of relief. Rodney has a new job, a good one! Its incredibly local, only a mile from where we live, which is TERRIFIC (ya know, I still remember how to spell that by thinking of the goose in Charlotte's Web!), and he likes it, he really likes it! Yes, there's a big hole to dig out of, but we can certainly at least see the sky again. Thanks to everyone who kept us in their thoughts and prayers, and those that did/tried to help with job searching!

Olympics

I just saw the US Womens' rowing team win gold, and cried, again, as our national anthem was played while our glorious flag rose highest in the air. Each and every gold ceremony I've seen, I feel such deep, passionate patriotism. Its the same feeling I get when, on the 4th of July as the fireworks are blazing in the sky, I think about how amazing that hundreds of thousands of other Americans are doing the same thing. Maybe not feeling the love of country in the same way, but still, out and honoring our country. I love the Olympics--the athletes are there because of pure love of their sport, and passion for their country. The skeptic will say not all of them; some are pushed by parents, government, and some aren't proud of the US. I say to the skeptics--sorry you're so sad! Yes, I'm an optimist and a dreamer, I admit it happily! Michael Phelps was beyond anything I could have imagined. I clearly remember Mark Spitz winning in 1972, and that record held for 36 years, to be broken by the child diagnosed with adhd and raised by a single Mom. He broke these unattainable records (as some said....thumbing nose at skeptics), and during interviews, repeatedly was humble beyond description. Last night, as his teammates all fawned over MP, full of praise and love and Phelps-isms, he could only say the same about his teammates. And eight gold medal ceremonies later, still he watched our flag go up with unmistakeable pride. The rowers tonight just really blew me away, it was, to me, a classic show of love of country. Yes, winning gold for the US for the first time in 24 years is and will be incredibly personally satisfying for each of them, but they all only commented on their team and their country. As the National Anthem played, those girls sang their hearts out. Their smiles epitomized to me Olympic Champions. Yes, I do so love my country. Way to go USA!