Saturday, August 27, 2016

Ups and Downs and All Arounds

Yesterday was a not so bad day, like really not bad day, like verging on a good day! I was able to get more walking in, increasing from right after the surgery barely making it once around the building to yesterday getting up to 1.5 miles! Not all at once, it was broken up in little walks and steps around the house as well, and very slow, but still it all has felt good.

I've begun to realize that a pretty decent day is followed usually by a few steps back, and that's okay. I know that sounds negative but for me it is the beginning of acceptance of this disease. I don't mean I'm not fighting and won't keep fighting, heck no! I fully believe, however, that in order to fight I do have to learn to accept what this disease is and what this disease (diseases?) is doing to my body.

When I woke up this morning and got out of bed I felt incredible, I had that "normal" feeling, I walked NORMAL. I said to myself, maybe this is "spontaneous curedom!" In my behind the scenes reality mind I was saying "uh oh...prepare yourself...cherish these moments...." About a half hour later I started to prep my avocado and yea, there was that extra pain in the left hand and the burning that comes along with the tingling, on bad days, in my right hand and wrist. Then the knees started to stiffen. I've done a LOT around the house today, pushed myself; not to be dramatic but because if a downslide is coming as it feels like it is, I want to cram in as much as I can! (also my worrying loving 17yo daughter is out for the day, when I try to get actual cleaning done when she's home she fusses at her mama lol ) I'm hurting pretty good now, my body has finally said "yea NOPE, you're done," and I'm listening. As of right now I'm not upset. Maybe I'm a little frustrated but not terribly frustrated like I do get sometimes. I'm evolving, can you believe it?? 

PS 18 days until treatment begins!

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