WOW. Mallory just presented me with an astounding lightbulb moment. Now it may not be a lightbulb moment to you, it may well seem like a fizzing out bulb or even a cracked bulb; well that makes sense cause we all know I'm a bit crazy. :-D
She came to me to tell me something and I was about to roll my eyes and say "Mallory stop getting distracted, Zachary and I need you to finish your lapbook NOW so I can build and erupt that volcano!!", but I waited. Okay I did roll my eyes but I listened luckily for me. Her announcement: "Mom, numbers are backwards!!"
Okay so yes, I did greet that statement with a kind of dumbfounded silence, with the thoughts "Oh LORD don't let her say that in front of other people especially if she just told them we homeschool," and then it hit me. She's right! Numbers generally are made and follow in the opposite direction of letters. NO WONDER SO MANY KIDS MAKE THEIR NUMBERS BACKWARDS!!! And for kids with any tendencies towards special needs it is even harder, because they need things to make sense or be logical, and it just doesn't make sense. This will help me with Zachary; I'm not completely sure how just yet but its another wall, that blocked my view from his world, crashing down.
***************
On a separate note, SLIP AND SLIDES=DANGER Danger Will Robinson, Danger! Hey guess what, I met the cute guy that played the cute uncle dude on "Lost in Space" in the Newark airport on my way to California in 1985, I have a picture somewhere, he was on General Hospital at the time....oy, as often is the case I digress--oh hell, that's not digressing that's taking a plane and leaving the country. Focus Linda, focus! Okay, right, slip and slides, injury--okay, back on track. So the kids played on the slip and slide yesterday. Last night after Zachary's shower I saw all the scrapes and said "No more slip and slide." Of course today, with Zachary begging and giving the eyes and Dylan giving me the oh mom its no big deal we can handle it look-from-a-teen, I caved. How'd it go? A few minutes ago Zachary went back into the living room, dragging his poor aching body, and mustered in a feeble, weak voice "I'm broken!" Soooo, anyone want a slip and slide????
Tuesday, June 29, 2010
No more claritin-and other thoughts
While I suspected this before and had stopped giving Zachary claritin off and on, I am now completely positive that it affected his mood and behavior. He had been back on it for the past few weeks because his allergies were getting bad. When Zachary's allergies are bad, not only does he have to typical allergic symptoms but he wakes up overnight with night terrors (which I've begun to wonder if they are related to breathing troubles while sleeping--apnea maybe..) Why it took me more than 2 weeks to finally have an "AHA" moment is beyond me, but finally I did. Sunday was the first day after not taking claritin and there was a noticeable improvement. Yesterday he initiated his reading lessons, read his own chores on the chore chart and *did* them all with, to quote Zach, "a smile on my face!" I believe that Zachary feels the difference too; I'm glad he's feeling the improvement but I'm so mad at myself for not catching it sooner.
Safety is such a worry to me. Zach doesn't retain safety rules like other kids do, and it can be scary. We had been playing out front a couple months ago and the ball we were using went into the street several times. Zachary darted out into the street a few times, even with reminders and a time out on the step. It's not him being "bad", he just forgets. The last time he ran out a van was coming down the road and nearly hit him, it was very close. Zach also seems to have no concept of stranger-danger/safety, and that terrifies me (I know I sound paranoid-hey just ask the teens in this house they'll agree). The biggest problem with all of this is that he is trying to become more independent, he wants to be more independent...it's something that has taken time to come but is finally arriving, yet I have to temper it with my knowledge of his level of safety concepts. As he gets older and the struggles become more apparent, my heart aches; but I am so thankful he is able to express affection and love (many spectrum kids have a hard time with that) because my heart is instantly soothed by a spontaneous hug or a funny "Zachism."
I know the key is consistency and repetition on my part and I'll continue. I am so lucky and blessed with the people that appeared in our lives when Zachary was very little; Kathy and Bambi, in Maine, helped both of us begin to see things in a different light and to look for whatever path we need to help.
Safety is such a worry to me. Zach doesn't retain safety rules like other kids do, and it can be scary. We had been playing out front a couple months ago and the ball we were using went into the street several times. Zachary darted out into the street a few times, even with reminders and a time out on the step. It's not him being "bad", he just forgets. The last time he ran out a van was coming down the road and nearly hit him, it was very close. Zach also seems to have no concept of stranger-danger/safety, and that terrifies me (I know I sound paranoid-hey just ask the teens in this house they'll agree). The biggest problem with all of this is that he is trying to become more independent, he wants to be more independent...it's something that has taken time to come but is finally arriving, yet I have to temper it with my knowledge of his level of safety concepts. As he gets older and the struggles become more apparent, my heart aches; but I am so thankful he is able to express affection and love (many spectrum kids have a hard time with that) because my heart is instantly soothed by a spontaneous hug or a funny "Zachism."
I know the key is consistency and repetition on my part and I'll continue. I am so lucky and blessed with the people that appeared in our lives when Zachary was very little; Kathy and Bambi, in Maine, helped both of us begin to see things in a different light and to look for whatever path we need to help.
Wednesday, March 3, 2010
Help Fight SMA!
Click on the Pepsi "widget" in the sidebar to vote to fund research for Spinal Muscular Atrophy. A good friend of mine has a beautiful baby girl with SMA. Susan is an amazing woman and mother, there are no words to describe her strength, perseverance, and beauty (inside and out); she and her children deserve the hope this kind of funding can provide.
Please Vote!
If the link doesn't work, use the sidebar tool.
Please Vote!
If the link doesn't work, use the sidebar tool.
Saturday, February 27, 2010
I warned you it was coming lol, more autism
I was typing a reply to an email and the thoughts on Zachary and autism are swirling. I just had to get it out and always welcome your input.
For me, what I mean by not wanting to "fix" him goes to the core of who he is that I don't want to change. Yes I absolutely want to help him through the anxieties, the melt-downs/rages, the flapping or humming, recognizing pain, etc. I homeschool my son and that's what works for us; I get to work with him on a daily basis, finding what works for him and (more often than not, lol) what doesn't. I've had to work quite a bit with him on empathy for others and even empathy for himself; yet he has this unbelievable compassion and deep feeling for animals. His emotions involving people very often is too powerful for him and we are slowly finding appropriate responses for him to communicate the confusion. His mind can analyze a situation and solve what is going on; my work with him is to help him learn how to communicate these amazing findings of his to share with the rest of the world! ☺
The more I read about autism, the more I realize how wrong the Pervasive Developmental Disorder/Not Otherwise Specified (PDD/NOS) diagnosis is. I get angry that I had to insist they relook at his case; this in spite of the demonstrated autistic behaviors during therapies, as well as spectrum scoring on parental intake testing and initial evaluations with Zachary. Reading the most recent diagnosis is like reading a textbook definition of autistic behaviors, yet the doctor resisted--and even wrote of her resistsance in her notes--and settled with PDD/NOS.(we don't go there anymore, lol)
I'm sure many of you have seen the Autism car magnets with the puzzle pieces making up the ribbon. (and I want one btw!)
I do believe there are many puzzle like pieces to people with autism--the problem I see with it is that many still only see the finished "piece" and find that to be the problem. I don't think all the pieces necessarily fit together, and helping those on the spectrum, or at least my own child, is about:
I know these are layman's terms and these thoughts are coming from my heart in my search for helping Zachary, which in turn helps my other children too. They have their own levels of frustration when handling some of Zachary's issues...but Alexis, Dylan, and Mallory are the most amazing siblings to Zach. To him he is their special, hilariously funny, imaginitive little brother, nothing more and nothing less, and they are amazing with him. But they are human, too, and get frustrated at times when Zachy hits his limits or has a rough day and just can't communicate verbally what is bothering him. I wonder if there is a book out there for kids to read and learn...hmmmm, maybe we should write it? lol!
For me, what I mean by not wanting to "fix" him goes to the core of who he is that I don't want to change. Yes I absolutely want to help him through the anxieties, the melt-downs/rages, the flapping or humming, recognizing pain, etc. I homeschool my son and that's what works for us; I get to work with him on a daily basis, finding what works for him and (more often than not, lol) what doesn't. I've had to work quite a bit with him on empathy for others and even empathy for himself; yet he has this unbelievable compassion and deep feeling for animals. His emotions involving people very often is too powerful for him and we are slowly finding appropriate responses for him to communicate the confusion. His mind can analyze a situation and solve what is going on; my work with him is to help him learn how to communicate these amazing findings of his to share with the rest of the world! ☺
The more I read about autism, the more I realize how wrong the Pervasive Developmental Disorder/Not Otherwise Specified (PDD/NOS) diagnosis is. I get angry that I had to insist they relook at his case; this in spite of the demonstrated autistic behaviors during therapies, as well as spectrum scoring on parental intake testing and initial evaluations with Zachary. Reading the most recent diagnosis is like reading a textbook definition of autistic behaviors, yet the doctor resisted--and even wrote of her resistsance in her notes--and settled with PDD/NOS.(we don't go there anymore, lol)
I'm sure many of you have seen the Autism car magnets with the puzzle pieces making up the ribbon. (and I want one btw!)
I do believe there are many puzzle like pieces to people with autism--the problem I see with it is that many still only see the finished "piece" and find that to be the problem. I don't think all the pieces necessarily fit together, and helping those on the spectrum, or at least my own child, is about:
- finding the pieces that fit together properly
- finding the pieces that don't quite fit and gently reshaping them to fit the best way they can
- finding the pieces that just can't go back in the puzzle--those are the areas we have to learn creative and positive techniques to fill in the "holes."
I know these are layman's terms and these thoughts are coming from my heart in my search for helping Zachary, which in turn helps my other children too. They have their own levels of frustration when handling some of Zachary's issues...but Alexis, Dylan, and Mallory are the most amazing siblings to Zach. To him he is their special, hilariously funny, imaginitive little brother, nothing more and nothing less, and they are amazing with him. But they are human, too, and get frustrated at times when Zachy hits his limits or has a rough day and just can't communicate verbally what is bothering him. I wonder if there is a book out there for kids to read and learn...hmmmm, maybe we should write it? lol!
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
Ode to the Joys of Parenting
I always thought when I heard "I HATE You!!" come from the mouths of my babes I'd be reduced to tears, utterly and completely hurt beyond any verbal or written description. Uh, enter the joys of parenting! How else to explain that when I hear "I HATE YOU!!!" I smile and think, "oh I love you too!" Yea yea, you could explain it by reason of insanity and as I have often espoused here, that would be true; however in this case its just got to be joy. That cute little phrase expresses passionate feelings that I am lucky enough to be blessed with! Hey, you are not laughing are you, cause I'm serious here and you might hurt my feelings, and I might scream I HATE YOU. Of course you'd take it as I Love You cause you'd use my blog against me.
Parents, don't take it to heart if you hear those words. (Unless they are coming from a teenager, in which case you might could be entering a phase of hormonal explosions and had better buckle in for a roller coaster ride) Your child may very well hate you in that particular moment, but keep it in perspective--when you live with someone you are going to hate them and love them and dislike them and adore them...in other words, kids are humans too. They don't really want a reply to it, in the end they just want to know that you love them no matter what. And hey, since I have perfect kids and the perfect family life, you can trust me on this! Oh I do crack myself up on a regular basis.
Parents, don't take it to heart if you hear those words. (Unless they are coming from a teenager, in which case you might could be entering a phase of hormonal explosions and had better buckle in for a roller coaster ride) Your child may very well hate you in that particular moment, but keep it in perspective--when you live with someone you are going to hate them and love them and dislike them and adore them...in other words, kids are humans too. They don't really want a reply to it, in the end they just want to know that you love them no matter what. And hey, since I have perfect kids and the perfect family life, you can trust me on this! Oh I do crack myself up on a regular basis.
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