Sunday, October 31, 2010

Zachary's Ranges (afternoon Halloween 2010)

To quote Dylan: "3, 15, and 60" when discussing the broad range of levels of expressions that come from Zachary. About an hour ago I was continuing the search for the final missing piece of Zach's costume (could that be the same costume I kept saying "don't play with it, you'll lose pieces of it??? lol), and Zachary said "Mommy, come here....", hugged me and continued "don't worry Mommy, I have everything I need right here." I have lived with this child for 10 years, 9 months, and 22 days (I'm counting the pregnancy there) and yet he still can leave me utterly speechless. The thoughts and emotions he expresses are at once inexplicable in maturity and immaturity--in the same minute as the aforementioned comment, he will run over to Goggy and say "My Goggy!" like a preschooler might. Or even a teenager might, depending on your perspective, lollol.

Halloween is particularly challenging for him. The 10 year old side of him is beyond enthusiastic about candy, decorating, candy, crafts, candy--you get the picture there; but his thoughts are convoluted by autism, making it so hard to differentiate between what is real and what isn't or, more to the point, what is literal and what isn't. He copes by asking question after question; often the questions have nothing to do with the concerns, but it seems that he has to ask any other questions to clear the path for the tougher topics to come out. Zachary told me today that he keeps telling himself over and over "it's not real, it's not real" and is beginning to believe himself. He has such strength and determination; in that way he is just like Alexis, Dylan, and Mallory.

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