The kids had a bit of a rough time this weekend. They were unfortunately reminded of some past troubling events, things that we have had some peace from for a little while. M talked about it and of course said she is "fine". In my personal opinion "fine" means "it SUCKS but I'm being a brave soldier for you," but I do believe that at least talking about it helped a little.
Z on the other hand wanted nothing to do with talking it through. This did NOT fit into the happy space that he likes to put even the worst events into. Talking about it means the bad thing was real. He had a rough night that night, and the next evening's bedtime routine was more stretched out than usual. Have I shared the bedtime routine with you? Oh, please, allow me to give you a glimpse:
1. Lavender spay on pillows
2. Rescue Remedy sleep spray on wrists.Two 'squirts' then rub wrists.
3. Tuck in.
4. Turn on humidifier.
5. Refill humidifier.
6. Set timer on tv.
7. Turn on fish tank light, and feed fish.
8. Get and then bring Z a Tums.
9. Bring him a drink of water.
10. Hug and kiss goodnight. Then another hug, then please one more.
11. Go to door, pull it shut to just a couple inches...
12. "one more hug?", yes, one more hug.
13. Back to door.
14. The sayings start:
Z: "Good night."
Me: "Good night."
Z: "I love you."
Me: "I love you, too."
Z: "Everything will be alright, right?"
Z: "Okay. Good night, sweet dreams, I love you."
Me: "Good night, sweet dreams, I love you, too."
I walk away and wait, he shouts some of the aforementioned sentiments, I respond once or twice then say "No more shouting!" He says "okay," and on most nights that's it. On rougher nights it all goes over and over, with him coming out, going back in, etc. Some nights, when I don't respond to the shouting he will say "you didn't say 'no more shouting!'" lol.
Last night, before I tucked him in (step 3 if you are paying attention) we started talking about Rookie J ( Rookie J the Rescue Doggie ). We talked about his face and his calm eyes, and how happy we are about getting to see him on Wednesday.
Last night I only got to step 11. Z then said "Good night, I love you" and I did my response, then stood there waiting for everything else. Nothing happened.
I said "Okay, good night...."
He said "Okay!"
I walked away and heard nothing more the rest of the night. This was not a coincidence. This little dog has such a calm sereneness about him that radiates not just to the senses but also the soul. Z's soul wants to soar to reach others but he's still learning how to open it up while still balancing out all the noisy disruptions that autism brings. Together they harmonize and while that may sound corny, it is beautiful.
I am feeling so blessed that our paths crossed with his and his Mommy's and can't wait to see where it all leads.